Parenthood with a sense of humor's topics - tribe.net

Breaking the Binky habit

Pam — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 20:22:14 GMT

My daughter will be two in September and is firmly attached to her binky - in fact, if she sees that there is more than one, she has to have both of them - you know, just in case she loses one. She will not give it up on her own and I'm looking for suggestions on breaking her of the habit without leading to hysterics on her part and eating too much chocolate on mine. Thanks!

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 4 replies

Is There Really A Santa...

pokalope — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 22:58:18 GMT

Or do you really put all the presents under the tree?

My son (8) asked me this last week. What would/have you said to your kids when this came up?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 9 replies

Good kids clothes

strngvoice — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 22:41:42 GMT

So my mom wants to know where they have good kids clothes. She's going to buy the boys some nice PJs for xmas and she asked where I like to buy the boys clothes and I was like "like?" I'm poor I buy what I can where I can. But she wants to buy them "nice" PJs so I said I would ask where such things were bought. Especially if you guys have noticed especially cute PJs anywhere.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 6 replies

The cutest things we hear...

djlaunchpad — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 11:03:05 GMT

OK.. so I haven't looked back far enough to see if this topic had been covered, but I'm going to have to throw this out.

My Daughter said the cutest thing to me the other night as I was reading her a bedtime story and got her ready for bed. I turn out the lights, kiss her on the forehead and tell her sweet dreams.

She looks up at me in the dark and looks at our cat. Looks back at me and says..

"Pappa.. Its dark in my room."
"I know punkin. It cause its night time. Its time for bed."
Pappa.. I cant see in the dark."
" I know kiddo. the lights are out, its night time. Time for sleep."

"Pappa.. I cant see in the dark cause I dont have candles in my eyes...".

At that point. I lost it and kept her up for another 10 minutes trying not to laugh so hard..

:) =-Adam.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 12 replies

Trying not to laugh at the fake crying

lizzierocks — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 19:45:18 GMT

My son Max is 8 months old and seems to be starting up some fake crying. Specifically when I tell him that he can't climb into the garbage can. He'll sit down and make the funniest pretend "I am going to cry" face! I try not to laugh because I don't want him to think I am kidding about the garbage and the climbing, but whew! It's hilarious!

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 2 replies

best eBay auction EVER!

Melissa — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 15:05:44 GMT

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=130144061675&ru=http%3A%2F%2Fsearch.ebay.com%3A80%2Fsearch%2Fsearch.dll%3Ffrom%3DR40%26_trksid%3Dm37%26satitle%3D130144061675%26category0%3D%26fvi%3D1

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 5 replies

My liver is tired!!

vectorstefania — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 21:35:38 GMT

my five-year old loves factoids. i told him one day that laughing is the one thing that exercises your liver.... well, the other day, i was tickling him and he was giggling up a storm and all of a sudden he shouts out "Mommy, stop! My liver is tired!"

needless to say, after that comment, my liver got some exercise too!

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 2 replies

Foibles in Potty Training

Schpanky — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 17:10:25 GMT

My son is a little over 3 years old and potty training has been somewhat of a challenge - though I think we're progressing in a positive direction. Over the past week, he has shown much more interest, asking me to use the potty. Last week, when we went into the bathroom, he waddled up to the toilet like a pro and within minutes, had done his first pee pee in the potty! I was so proud! We sang out loud, did a potty dance and he earned a couple of stars for reward. Last night, enthusiastically, my son said "Mommy, I need to go potty!" We hurried to the bathroom, where I lifted the toilet seat, pointed him towards the toilet and encouraged him to try. Within seconds, he swung around and plop! went hiney first into the toilet with a big splash. The sad look on his face said it all. I'm hoping for better luck next time and that this little incident doesn't have a lasting effect on the progression we've made up to this point!

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 1 reply

Facts from a five year old

gincrimson — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 11:38:52 GMT

My son divulged this interesting fact yesterday morning. Get your pencils out, it's fascinating stuff:

Mommy, do you know why baby ducks follow their mothers?

No, Why?

Because her butt looks like a giant breadcrumb!

There you have it. He insists this is true because he heard it at school.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 8 replies

help....

shan-wa-fair — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 01:05:52 GMT

so my ex and i have been split for about a year now. he and i do not see eye to eye on anything and try to keep contact to a minimum. 6 months ago i started dating my best friend of over 20 yrs. this was a shock to my ex, (but not bigger than the shock to me and neil when we figured out we were in love) anyway, my ex started throwing out all kinds of rules and regulations he wanted followed and making threats to call police when the one time my bf and my girls were together at a swim party and they all played together.

so now, my ex has started seeing someone. i was very happy at first cuz it takes his focus off of me. his new gf is 24 (he is 48) they have been seeing eachother about 3 wks and she is already pretty much living there, so far all goo, i don't care, untill after his weekend visit last weekend his new gf calls my daughters the next day to tell them she loves them and misses them already. this doesn't sit well with me, but i let it go mostly because my ex is totaly irrational and having a rational conversation with him is impossible. so today my girls come home and i find out that the new gf has my girls cuddeling in bed with her and my ex is having her deal with "her" girls when he is in a bad mood and doesn' feel like it.

now i'm not real into leting this stuff go. it's way too over the top for me at this point. i have purposly kep6t my time with my bf and my girls to a minimum so as to let my girls get used to the whole mommy has a bf thing and bring him into their lives in this capasity slowly. my ex doesn't get that concept and i'm at a loss as to how to handel this situation. am i just over reacting or am i justified in this not "feeling" right?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 1 reply

Cough Medicine

Slarah — Tue, 29 May 2007 06:42:43 GMT

The other night I was singing bedtime songs to my two year old son when out of the blue he says "mommy, I need cough medicine, I'm sick". I tell him he isn't sick and doesn't need cough medicine. He replies with and emphatic, "but mommy, I neeeeeed cough medicine". I tell him that he doesn't have a cough or runny nose so therefore he does not need it. He says, "mommy, if you give me cough medicine I promise to get a cough." It was so funny. I love that he is at this great age where he can express his own thoughts.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 5 replies

Fun places online?

gincrimson — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 12:14:49 GMT

The small town where I live FINALLY got DSL. It's a miracle! I'm wondering if anyone has some fun and/or interesting links of things my 5 yo son could do online? We seem to be lacking, though he really enjoys club penguin.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 4 replies

Big Girls Don't Have Penises

Schpanky — Wed, 23 May 2007 03:12:38 GMT

As a single mom, I live with my parents. It's been a great opportunity for my son - having my dad around as a positive male role model.

I'm one of those open communicators when it comes to body parts and my son, who is three, still takes showers with myself and my mom.

Tonight, my son followed my dad into the bathroom. He pointed to my dad's penis and said, "What's that?" My dad replied, "It's a penis." My son, in all of his infinite wisdom replied, "Big girls don't have penises." My dad encouraged him to go tell grammy, who he had the conversation with earlier, in the shower.

Next thing you know, my son is in the living room, lifting my mom's nightgown to do an inspection, shaking his head, saying nope, "Big girls don't have penises."

lol!

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 1 reply

No she didnt!!!

Melissa — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 21:53:20 GMT

My 3 yo,daughter and I were sitting here. I was combing her hair and she was drawing on her magna doodle. All of a sudden I hear her....

"mudder...mudder....fa.....mudder-fa....ck,ck....mudder-fa-cker"

I said, no Holly. Thats not a nice word for Holly.

she said "oh, ok...only for Mommy?"

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 9 replies

True Mom Confessions

strngvoice — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 05:17:11 GMT

http://truemomconfessions.com/p/10

someone sent me this and this one cracked me up.

"Once when my son was teething we had nothing for his gums to numb them so we used Pleasure Balm from our Kama Sutra set. Funny thing was... it worked better then Oragel. "

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 0 replies

Family Watchdog

toady_rose — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 14:36:36 GMT

This is the first time I've ever actually gotten an email from my ex-mother-in-law that was useful:
http://www.familywatchdog.us/

scary how many there are in my area, although I'm not terribly surprised.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 1 reply

Family update, Cousin Boo style.

toady_rose — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 02:22:21 GMT

I got an update email from my cousin, and she has a fantastic sense of humor. For example, she says this about her daughter's musical talent:

"She is doing well with clarinet. I can now listen without pain shooting through my body."

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 3 replies

potty story

Stephanie — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 14:31:49 GMT

Yesterday my 2 year old kept saying she needed to go pee-pee. She kept going to her potty and had the usual me sit and a friend was over so were hanging in the bathroom no pee pee. We went in the other room and Mikala would run in to us then go back. Then we hear poo-poo. I went in and it looked too big to come from her it was too funny. We did a little dance and then said by to poo-poo as she flushed the toilet.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 3 replies

hey mom - I washed the dishes but....

cooldawn — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 19:53:44 GMT

I didn't use any soap

Ummm.... that's not WASHING the dishes! okay, so maybe I'm just venting here but come on.... isn't using soap kind of a given??

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 7 replies

The public bathroom woes

gincrimson — Mon, 06 Nov 2006 19:33:58 GMT

Question: when is a kid old enough to go into a public restroom on their own? My son is 5, and I don't think he is at that point yet, based on the fact that he frequently can't reach the sinks, or soap dispensers without help, sometimes needs assistance with fastening his clothing, etc, but I would say he is fairly close.

Here's the problem: now, every time we are out in public and have to use the bathroom, we have to have a ten minute discussion about why I can't go into the men's room with him, but he can come into the women's room with me. I have tried once or twice to send him in, but once he couldn't find the light and wandered around in the dark for ten minutes, and the other time I ended up having to go in after him as he had a fashion emergency and required assistance.

Yikes!

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 10 replies

the name game

contactMOD250 — Fri, 10 Feb 2006 16:39:29 GMT

so, how did we all decide to name our kids what we named them?

my first is connor michael. i saw "connor" on an old family tree, and i thought it sounded awesome. little did i know that four years later it'd make the list of fast-growing boy's names. **sigh** it didn't help that exactly one week later, angel named HIS son connor (i'm a huge buffy fanatic) and i was accused of naming my kid after his, lol!.... "michael" is daddy's middle name. we didn't want to saddle anyone with the "junior" moniker, so we decided to pay tribute in a more subtle way. i like it.

the twins, now that is more difficult. if you think picking a name for one is bad, try two. i didn't wanna be cutesy (although i did suggest "jack" and "daniel"), no rhymes, no matching, no alliteration. and it doesn't help that everyone has suggestions (tom and jerry! mutt and jeff!). we made a list and picked two names to agree on: jonah and elias, eli for short. their middle names are our dad's first names, another tribute. i think it's nice, and it sure made our daddies' eyes well up when we told them.

if we have another boy, i dunno what their middle names will be, lol! we have four brothers between us. if we have a girl, she'll get my middle name, marie.

how 'bout you?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 21 replies

Tying your tubes.

Melissa — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 03:27:54 GMT

Ok, so Im like 70% positive that we wont be having anymore children and frankly it really bums me out, but it just makes sense.

My question is...does anyone know any women who have had their tubes tied? Do women undergo any hormonal changes from it? And did they regret it?

Im thinking the boyfriend needs the clippers takes to his boys. I feel like I have gone through enough.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 10 replies

Balls and Boo-tays

strngvoice — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 21:04:02 GMT

The things we moms hear and say in the line of duty.

7year old son: "Don't steal my balls! ...MON! He stole two of my balls!
3year old son: "I want some balls!"
me: "Don't steal your brother's balls!...I'm serious! Give your brother back his balls!"

also my boys are obsessed with butts so I have heard

I'm going to bite your butt!
I'm going to lick your butt! (oooh boy I don't wanna have that discussion yet!)
I'm going to kill your butt! (huh?)
I'm nugglin your butt! (nuggle=snuggle)

and more sentences best not remembered about butts...I do believe there was one about hiding things in there...

What are your best overheard stories?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 6 replies

Deleting pictures

strngvoice — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 04:38:01 GMT

I deleted some pictures out of the tribe album. I happen to notice one in there from someone who has unsubbed and thought maybe I should delete it since they are no longer here to do so if they decided they wanted too. I wouldn't worry in most tribes but I figured people should have control over where pictures of their kids show up online ya know? Just thought I would give you guys a heads up(o:

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 0 replies

You know youre a mom when...

Melissa — Fri, 08 Sep 2006 18:31:40 GMT

You illegally download childrens music off the internet.

I say this because my sister has some cute kid's CDs (Jo Jo's Circus) for her daughter to listen to when they are in the car. Well my daughter has caught on and also loves it. So what was I doing yesterday? Well, I think you all know.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 2 replies

Funny story - a kidism

Schpanky — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 23:26:18 GMT

Last night, my son asked me for a bottle. I was busy with something so I asked him to go ask papa. I could hear him from the other room. My dad, not being adept at the language of a two year old, was trying his damndest to figure out what he was asking for.

Each time he asked, it got louder and louder;

ba ba .... *huh?*
ba ba .... *huh?*
ba ba .... *huh?*
BA BA .... *huh?*
BA BA .... *what?*
BAA BAA! .... *what?*
BAA BAA!! .... *huh?*
BAA BAA!! .... *huh?**
BAA BAA!!! .... *what?*
BAA BAA!!!! .... *what?*

Until finally, my son said, "MILK!"

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 7 replies

Why Parents Drink

Melissa — Sun, 20 Aug 2006 21:10:21 GMT

Why Parents Drink
This is actually awful, but too funny and too true...

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees
had not phoned in sick one day but had not come into
work. Having an urgent problem with one of the main
computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number
and was greeted with a child's whisper.

"Hello."

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss
asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a
message, The boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's
home, the Boss asked, "May I speak with the
policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the
whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a
helicopter through the ear piece on the phone, the
boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A helicopter" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly
apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search
team just landed the helicopter."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss
asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a
muffled giggle,

"ME."

Remember the Past, Plan for the Future, but LIVE for TODAY!!!

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 1 reply

babysitter fees

cooldawn — Fri, 14 Jul 2006 17:15:59 GMT

okay, so I've cross-posted this like crazy but I want some feedback soon! What is the going rate for sitters in the bay area? Is it really gonna cost me $15/hr for someone to watch my two school age children watch a movie??

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 6 replies

I've got the dreaded.....

cooldawn — Fri, 07 Jul 2006 13:05:08 GMT

My oldest's voice is changing and he's had noticeable acne for just over six months. His TC came to take him to a movie last week and was like "what's wrong with you? do you have a sore throat? are ya sick? why is your voice all messed up?". With tears welling up in his eyes he told her "I've got......puberty" like it's some dreaded disease! Okay, I remember it being a bit tough..maybe he was embarrassed cuz it was a girl who asked him, or maybe he was just hormonal that day (do boys get like that during puberty too?) but I just felt so bad for him.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 4 replies

When ?

fallingawake — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 22:54:39 GMT

When was the last time you peed alone?

If you exclude 2 a.m. I can't remember.

:) They are worth it though. lol

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 10 replies

Generation Gap

pokalope — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 03:49:43 GMT

And so it begins.....

This morning "Large" was getting really frustrated because he couldn't draw a car. I finally suggested that maybe looking at a picture would help. He got all indignant and told me that we don't have any pictures of cars. I produced numerous books with car pictures. He rolled his eyes, sighed a big sigh and said "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.....those aren't tuner cars !"

Tuner cars ? What the hell is a tuner car ? He's only 7 *nearly* and already we speak a different language.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 10 replies

Oreo Lopez

cooldawn — Tue, 20 Jun 2006 01:35:06 GMT

my daughter has been calling the dog Oreo Lopez for the last week. We've always called the dog Oreo, but nobody we know has the last name Lopez. I asked her where it came from and she said, "it just sounds better"

where do they come up with this stuff?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 7 replies

Heelys

pokalope — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 19:27:34 GMT

My son is turning 7 at the end of August and has requested Heelys for his birthday. Granted this is subject to change about a bizzilion times but I wanted to see if anyone has kids who have these (stupid) things and what your thoughts are.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 10 replies

mortified... and daddy wiped a proud tear away

contactMOD250 — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 22:48:36 GMT

so my mom took my boys out for a walk to give me some time to clean the house (bless her). they ended up playing in this nice grassy area in our townhouse complex.

so an hour later, they come inside and mom's got this funny look on her face. dare i ask? i think to myself. i dared.

"your son pulled his pants down and peed on a tree." (he's 4 on saturday)

i didn't know whether to laugh or cry. apparently, my mom was so stunned that she had no reaction for several minutes. then, she tried not to laugh as he grinned and pulled his pants up stating "all done, yaya!" and went about his business of throwing a ball and chasing his brothers. when yaya finally regained her senses, she looked around wildly, hoping none of the neighbors had seen it.

when i told the hubby this, he just whooped and pretended to wipe a tear away. "i'm so proud! i wish i had been there!"

sigh..... it's like i'm raising four boys, not three.....

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 18 replies

Competitive moms

Zia — Thu, 08 Jun 2006 15:49:47 GMT

Does anyone have any good (and creative) non-nasty tips for dealing with moms who are intent on comparing their children to your own? Without alienating this mom, whose children mine really love to play with, I'd like her to stop competing academically with my son's achievements (or lack thereof). She does this with anyone who will listen, and very often in front of the boys, which is really unacceptable. Help!

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 7 replies

Ask a Kid?

gincrimson — Fri, 19 May 2006 15:34:10 GMT

Does anyone know if there is an ask a kid Tribe? I know there are ask a dudes, and sexy people, etc.

My idea is to have members post questions to ask the kids. The other members ask their kids the question, and then post the response.

If it's already been done, I'll take it down. I did peek around but didn't see anything.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 8 replies

Letting Go

gincrimson — Sun, 30 Apr 2006 13:12:41 GMT

One of the hardest parts of parenthood so far for me has been, as my son starts to get older, stepping back and giving him room to grow and learn, make his own decisions and realize there are consequences. Even at this age, he is already so much his own person and already needs much room, which sometimes it is a real personal struggle for me to give to him.

Case in point, my blog entry (read if you want) http://people.tribe.net/19113b5f-6a4f-4d56-8bfc-e441783d9b4b/blog/f11b5bbb-7178-491e-b5df-7f943b0220f3

Anyone with a preschooler have words of advise, or encouragement, or experiences to share?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 0 replies

Night Terrors

MelodyAnn — Sun, 16 Apr 2006 01:57:18 GMT

Anyone have any advice?

Also, what to do when they just wake up crying, but you know they still need more sleep.. I think I know, but I always feel guilty for just letting her cry herself back to sleep..

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 2 replies

I'm a DUCK!

queenoflight2 — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 08:14:36 GMT

Gave V V a bath tonight and afterword combed her hair in all the opposite direction of how it grows to see how long it had gotten. She's 1. I said aww you look like Liberachi because she loves to play the piano and she said Duck Duck I'm a Duck and then proceeded to mock my Donald Duck impression I do for her during her bath time rubber ducky (the song) routine. I've been teaching her quack quack too but she's picked up on the other as well apparently.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 7 replies

Singing

MelodyAnn — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 03:48:47 GMT

So, I'm a singer and a double bass player, and my husband can sing really well too (otherwise I wouldn't have married him). So, my daughter turns two in 11 days and she's been singing like crazy for the last couple months. It's SO cute.. She sings in english and spanish. She's adorable! Her favorites are twinkle twinkle, the abc's (she starts from q and you can understand every letter. My favorite is when she sings "now i know my a c b's"), most of the Dora cd, and La Lechusa.. SO CUTE!!!

What do you your kids sing and when did they start??

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 7 replies

my babies!

dread_pirate_rackham — Fri, 14 Apr 2006 20:31:32 GMT

awww, you got pics of A and B up!

Awwwwww! I forgot how cute they are....they were running in the rain that day - we were on holiday at Pagosa and it was raining, and I got them running around like crazy people in the rain. It was beautiful.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 1 reply

4 hours in a car with two 7 year olds

cooldawn — Fri, 14 Apr 2006 02:06:40 GMT

I'm glad to say they entertained each other instead of killing each other!

Listening to 7 year old convo can get really interesting if ya don't interject...I learned where belly button fuzz comes from (faeries) and that if we lived underwater it would rain dirt. Our little hitchhiker (my best friends son) came to grips with the fact that all vehicles are NOT equipped with DVD players...lol....(he kept looking out the window for a radio shack so he could buy one with his snack money). I learned that every family has a ritual or routine for roadtrips and when it isn't followed (or you're with a different family than usual) it results in the "are we there yet?" question being asked an average of every 17 miles. I also learned that 7 year olds are far more ticklish when crammed into a small backseat together - heeheehee ;-)

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 1 reply

Boob patches.

spanky — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 02:35:00 GMT

That is what my 7 year old called my bra. "Hey mom. Why are there boob patches in the bathroom??"

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 4 replies

Preschooler's Euphemisms

gincrimson — Sat, 08 Apr 2006 12:35:23 GMT

I'm new to Tribe, just wanted to say hi-

Maybe euphemism isn't the word I'm looking for, but any parent is familar with the concept - a kid hears a word or phrase and completely misunderstood the words, transposing them with something else, usually with humorous results.

Example:
Someone told my 4 yr old he was the "Spitting Image" of his father. My son later asked me, "Mommy, am I "Spittin' Midgets?"

Every now and then, he'll exclaim, out of the blue, "SPITTIN' MIDGETS!"

I'd love to hear others. I'm sure there are some good ones out there!

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 6 replies

embarrassing moments...always good for a laugh, right??

cooldawn — Sun, 05 Mar 2006 03:59:50 GMT

so we go into the pharmacy to look for a pressure bandage....the kids are l looking on one aisle and I the next cuz the first aid stuff was split up. My 12 year old found a box with the word pressure on it, but apparently neglected to read anything else on the box before he brought it to me.....it was a super sized box of "pressure resistant" condoms!! I was trying so hard not to laugh and managed to keep a straight face as I told him what they were....he yelped like his hands were on fire and said "don't tell me what they're for - I don't want to know!!" as he hurriedly went to put them back......hahahahahaha ;-)

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 18 replies

Local Sex Offenders/Predators

pokalope — Thu, 02 Mar 2006 05:46:25 GMT

My son's school sent home a notice today warning that there had been a complaint filed by a young girl who said a man waved her over to his car while she was waiting at the bus stop. Apparently he has been seen prior watching bus stops. It went on to talk about various safety measures, etc.

Is it me, or does it seem that there is a greater amount of violence toward children these days ? Is it just because we are so much more aware because we are parents and it trips our protection wires ? OR .... is the world really falling apart ? Have any of you done the Sheriff search for sex offenders/predators in your neighborhood ?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 8 replies

finally!

cooldawn — Sun, 26 Mar 2006 07:40:33 GMT

when trying to teach my youngest to ride a bike, the training wheels would never hold her up - she's a big kid, so as soon as she would lean to one side the training wheels would bend instead of supporting her.....we tried with the "me holding the seat running next to her" routine which also didn't work....ugh. The bike sat in the garage for two years, then she suddenly decided she wanted to ride it. She's outgrown it and the tires are flat; I told her I wasn't gonna buy her another one cuz she never learned how to ride, etc.....finally I said, "ok, you learn how to ride a bike THEN I'll buy you another one". I was out of town yesterday and today I hear "look, Mom!!" Wouldn't ya know it - she borrowed a friend's bike and was riding like a pro up and down the street....she taught herself to ride a bike in a day, so now it looks like I'm going bike shopping tomorrow

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 3 replies

Why, why, WHY?

Pam — Tue, 14 Mar 2006 05:55:16 GMT

WHY will my son stuff any random object he finds on the floor (dust bunnies, mysterious dehydrated crumbs, stuff that looks suspiciously like cat litter) into his mouth with all the enthusiasm of a starved boa constrictor swallowing a goat, yet I can't get him to eat tasty foods like meatloaf, cheese, or potatoes? He gets this completely insulted look on his face and gently pushes the offending food out of his mouth with his tongue, where it oozes discretely onto his bib just below his chin. I guess I could count my blessings - his favorite foods are banana, avacado and tofu - but I'd like him to get a little more variety.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 8 replies

she stole it!

CropDuster — Tue, 14 Mar 2006 17:36:16 GMT

yesterday i took my kids to the dentist for a regular checkup, and she had to pull a baby tooth from my younger one to make room for the permanent one. she gave him a little box to keep it. so last night he put the little box with the tooth under his pillow and waited for the tooth fairy to report to work (which she did). so this morning he got up early all upset.

kid: "dad! she stole it!"
dad: "didn't the tooth fairy take the tooth and leave you a dollar?"
kid: "yes! but she stole the box! it isn't there!! she stole it!"

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 8 replies

why is it that...

cooldawn — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 18:30:57 GMT

even when your kid seems genuinely ill enough to stay home from school, they feel great by 11:30???

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 2 replies

Strict

pokalope — Sun, 22 Jan 2006 16:14:19 GMT

How strict are you with your kids ? I ask this because sometimes I feel I am walking the fine line with mine. I often wonder what the right thing to do is in some situations'; to be a friend or be a disciplinarian. A very simplistic example (one I am using because I already know I did the right thing so it doesn't need to be part of this topic). Large told a lie, I knew he was telling it and when I asked him, he told me the truth. Now, I knew in this particular case it was better that I did not admonish him for lying, but instead celebrate the fact that he could right a wrong by telling the truth. I do wonder sometimes if (not in terms of lying but just in general) if being supportive is also enabling.

Another example. Large's teacher uses the card system of disipline. Almost daily now Large is having to turn a card or two because he is having difficulty staying quiet during direction or is talking when he isn't suppose to. Now granted he's six, but he has to learn to operate in the world. I have always felt (to myself) that, "you know what...he isn't hurting anyone, he isn't the bad kid, he respects his teachers and fellow classmates....it this is going to be the worst he's going to do, well....I'm ok with that." But, now it's a daily thing that he gets in trouble for these things, so I wonder.....did I enable this ?

Anyone have this experience now ? Anyone been through the trenches and can share which method has worked best for you ? More all around strict, or more tolerant ?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 15 replies

waterbabies unite!

queenoflight2 — Thu, 02 Mar 2006 23:20:03 GMT

I started a new tribe about the wonders of the waters! If you love water, welcome!
This is a family site so keep it clean!

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 2 replies

blackout

CropDuster — Tue, 28 Feb 2006 06:59:41 GMT

it didn't last long but we had fun with torches and candles.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 8 replies

Turning Cards

belisama — Tue, 28 Feb 2006 17:27:40 GMT

I often see someone here mention that their child had to "turn a card". What does this mean? I have never heard of it (or maybe just never heard it called that).

Thanks!

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 7 replies

Explaining Gray

pokalope — Tue, 21 Feb 2006 02:56:18 GMT

My son is a black and white thinker. It never was a big issue prior to school so I didn't think much about it. Poor planning on my part.

In school they learn all sorts of skills and dos/don't so they can get along with their fellow students. The other day everyone was lined up to go to lunch. There was a girl standing in front of Z. who neglected to get her lunchbox. She got out of line to retrieve it and then went back to get in front of Z. He put up the universal sign of NFW ! You see, she wanted to cut in line....and one of the finely honed skills they have learned is THERE IS NO CUTTING. So, they debated and she told the teacher that Z. wouldn't let her get back in line. Z. ended up having to turn a card. Now, I think that was wrong because he was just following the rules....granted he'd make Dudlely Dooright look like a common Jaywalker, but still......

Thoughts you guys ? Would you bring it up to his teacher ? How have you explained the "gray areas" of life to your kids ?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 8 replies

bleeding nose

CropDuster — Thu, 16 Feb 2006 06:34:17 GMT

my 6-year old likes to poke his nose, to the point of bleeding. of course once he bleeds he complains and stops, but then his nose is itchy and he pokes it again and makes it bleed again, and it's a vicious circle. any suggestion short of tying his hands?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 5 replies

Quote of the day

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 16:36:20 GMT

So my son was playing some sort of rubberband shooting game with his buddies and he accidentally got shot in the nuts. I jokingly said something about being careful with his "package" and he said "I like to call it my manhood" Oh God! I'm in trouble already and he's only 11 :)

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 12 replies

Firsts

pokalope — Sun, 12 Feb 2006 03:46:44 GMT

My little big man has his first loose tooth ! It's on the bottom. He wants to know what the Tooth Fairy does with all the teeth she collects. What have you guys responded to this ?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 15 replies

OMG Help

shan-wa-fair — Fri, 10 Feb 2006 21:40:00 GMT

so last week my 14 yr old son gets a very bad report card, all because of not turning in home work. we have been dealing with this problem for the last year and a half. he will actualy do the home work and not turn it in.
so life as he knew it came to a screaching halt. no computer, tv,i pod,gameboy,ps2, nothing. bring home a singned weekly report from all his teachers each friday stating weather or not all his hw is turned in and his current grades.
today is the first friday of the new rule.
so, we get a call from his pe teacher, my son disides to not suit up for pe with some of his friends, and while their being benched during class think it's a good idea to through rocks around cuz their board.
my eyes are buggin out of my head at this point. i don't get it. he's always been a good kid, no drugs used to get all a's and b's, and now he has no common scence what so ever.
anyone had this experience, got any insight, cuz i'm at a loss, and i don't want to kill him ;-)

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 6 replies

recommendation

contactMOD250 — Thu, 09 Feb 2006 08:35:40 GMT

you know how you have to watch the same frackin' movie over and over and over and over....

well, you may not be so sad to do so with the new wallace and gromit: curse of the were-rabbit. i love it! we've watching it four times since it came out yesterday, and i just might watch it again tomorrow. it's terribly cute, wonderfully animated, and all in all good fun.

it's a nice movie, too. no bad insults for my kids to mimic, no terrible violence. there's a guy who's obsessed with shooting the rabbit, but it's that zany looney tunes-ish stuff, know what i mean?

and you have to watch it if only for the howling bunnies. soooo funny and cute. my son LOVES it.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 8 replies

7 Signs Your Child Loves You

pokalope — Wed, 08 Feb 2006 16:44:54 GMT

(via email)
1. Your newborn stares into your eyes — he's actually working hard to memorize your face. He doesn't understand anything else about the world, but he knows you're important.
2. Your baby thinks about you even when you're not around. Between 8 and 12 months old, he'll start to scrunch his face and look around when you leave the room — and he'll smile when you return.
3. Your toddler throws wicked tantrums. Nope, those screaming fits don't mean he's stopped loving you. He wouldn't be so hurt and angry if he didn't trust you so deeply.
4. Your toddler runs to you for comfort when he falls down or feels sad. Kids this age may not truly understand the meaning of "I love you," but their actions speak louder than words.
5. Your preschooler gives you a flower picked from the garden, a finger-painted heart, a sparkly rock, or another gift.
6. Your preschooler wants your approval. He'll start to be more cooperative around the house, and he'll look for chances to impress. "Look at me!" will become a catchphrase.
7. Your grade-schooler trusts you with secrets, like his first crush or his most embarrassing moment. You're his confidante, even if he shies away from your hugs in public.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 4 replies

Why God made Moms

dread_pirate_rackham — Thu, 02 Feb 2006 05:47:31 GMT

this made me laugh pretty hard -- thought I would share...

"Why God made moms" answers given by elementary school age children
to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used
bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything
nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly
use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like
me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty
bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get
drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES
to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a
lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a
goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under
the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than
dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power
'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind
of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get
rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who
did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her
back.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 4 replies

New tribe

MelodyAnn — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 22:18:47 GMT

Come check out my new tribe.

http://tribes.tribe.net/pamperedchef

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 3 replies

What Contitutes Emergency With More Than One ?

pokalope — Wed, 25 Jan 2006 16:17:33 GMT

Father of nine:

"When the firstborn coughed or sneezed I called an ambulance. When the last one swallowed a dime, I told him it was coming out of his allowance."

This is so true !

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 9 replies

New Rule:

Fri, 13 Jan 2006 15:15:50 GMT

When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know
in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese.

~submitted just for laffs

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 26 replies

Nagging

pokalope — Sun, 22 Jan 2006 03:53:50 GMT

Having had been married for over a decade it pretty much a given that I have been appraised of all my character defects. Nagging was not one of them. I'm pretty easy going and really not fussy. Don't get me wrong, I'm all kinds of nuts in other ways, but I've just never been a nag.

So, this one comes from the "where the hell did he get it from" department. My 6 year old is a relentless nag. Daily, non stop, relentless, dog with a bone that is in your shin, NAG. His teacher shared with them that it is this very doggedness that will see him through later in his school career because he doesn't give up. For now though, she'd like him to STOP. I'd like him to stop. I actually said to my child "will you stop hounding me !"

Does anyone have or had this issue ? Any ideas ?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 17 replies

According to my children...

EDubya22 — Mon, 23 Jan 2006 02:38:47 GMT

the last one in is a rotton *poo*.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 2 replies

is it wrong.....

contactMOD250 — Wed, 18 Jan 2006 23:29:15 GMT

...... that we're going to chuck e. cheese for my son's fourth birthday.... and the adults are WAY more excited than he is?

i was like "dude (speaking to my brothers and brother in law), we're going to chuck e. cheese for connor's birthday next month" and they were all "are you SERIOUS! that's AWESOME! wait, we can order beer, right?"

(i'm kinda stoked, too. i love that place.... mostly for the skeeball. okay, and because i can buy chuck e. cheese pencils with tickets......)

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 8 replies

molars coming in late @ 31 months - Help!

huck — Wed, 04 Jan 2006 07:18:47 GMT

My kid is in absolute misery. Tylonol dosn't work and Motrin works a little better than that. Any hints or info would be appreciated.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 6 replies

my 1st post here!!!

fluff-goddess — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 19:28:05 GMT

okay...I was invited quite awhile ago by Kristen but because I was still pregnant, I didn't have any stories to share, but I read and giggled at yours....so thanks for your delicious little stories!!!

I'm nursing and started noticing that she would get whiney in the middle of the night, thinking she was hungry I would nurse her but she would only put my nipple in her mouth and go right to sleep, I would button up my top and then it would repeat itself....drove me crazy.

Someone suggested I get her a binky so she could soothe herself to sleep without my boob in her mouth....did that!!! YAY...it worked!!!!

BUT!!!!!....I did find out that the worse thing you can do is take the binky out of the mouth and replace with your nipple....

NO, DON'T EVER DO THAT!!!

Make sure baby wakes up a bit and realizes that you are putting your flesh in her mouth NOT that damn binky....I learned the hard way and ended up pumping THAT breast for two days until it healed enough to start nursing her again with it....UGH!!!!

YAY...my first, "Mom is a dumbass" story!!!!

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 8 replies

the funniest thing my kid said today was....

contactMOD250 — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 18:48:18 GMT

"mama, i'm so naked i can't wear clothes."
-connor (3)

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 51 replies

The Safe Side

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 17:01:35 GMT

A video endorsed by the The Center For Missing and Exploited Children, and co created by John Walsh and Julie Clark has been advertised recently.

Has anyone seen or heard anything about this ?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 5 replies

tears of joy

Wed, 04 Jan 2006 15:51:51 GMT

I started a big project yesterday.
I changed the rooms around in the house.
Skyler, my eldest now hoas his own room, And....my daughter is no longer in our bedroom. I took apart the crib and set it up in my middle sons room. For the first time in almost 3 years, my husband and I went to bed in a room with no children.
What did we do?
We went to sleep.

The babies went to bed in the same room for the first time ever at 8:30 am....there was no crying, no talking no nothin'!
They slept until 7:54 am.

This is also the first night that my daughter has slept through the night.

A full night sleep.........
AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 4 replies

Polar Express

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 02:44:14 GMT

Oh my gosh...what an awesome movie !!!!! I always loved the book, but the adaptation they did, coupled with Tom Hanks at the helm was FABULOUS ! They translated the visuals so beautifully that is is engaging to both my 6 year old (for the story) and 2 year old (for the visual appeal).

Even I don't mind watching it 1,000 times.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 13 replies

Last Minute,as usual

Sun, 01 Jan 2006 19:25:43 GMT

My 10yr old 5th grader informed about ten minutes ago that she has a book report due on 1/3/05. The book must have at least 100pgs, and be about an animal.Fiction or non.
ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR A BOOK???
Thanks,
M

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 3 replies

new years with the kids

cooldawn — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 18:01:30 GMT

ok, I admit it - I'm staying home with my kids tonight by choice. We're gonna play games, watch movies, eat snacks, and stay up until midnight to watch the fireworks.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 6 replies

Irony

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 05:33:44 GMT

so i come home from a night out, grab the new book off my desk, "Becoming a Dad - A Spiritual and Practical Guide" walk into the bathroom and go to take a seat and what do I see. Junior, our new 3 year old decided he was big enough to take his piss standing. Shall I go on? Maybe I sould just say he didn't miss anything except the "inside" of the toilet. So after a quick grump I go get the goodies to clean it up thinking the whole time I really need to wake him up and rub his face in this. Oh wait, that's what we do to the dog. Yeah, I need to go and wake him up and show / help him clean this up so this never happens again. Then sanity is restored. I let him sleep and do the cleaning.

Ok, now I take my seat and start reading. I just cracked this book open and it starts to go on about how this is the begining of best time of my life. How come I feel I am being lied to?

Fortunatly I still remember. It wasnt all that long ago. What he did at 3 I did at 33. Granted I was a bit drunk buy hey, ok I was real drunk. Happy now?

Anyway, I see the humor in this. I just like calling it irony.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 9 replies

getting sick

Sun, 18 Dec 2005 21:20:42 GMT

so, my entire family has gotten the flu. And I hear that terrible gagging sound that we all dread coming from my 3 yo. We get up and run to the bathroom. After she is done getting sick (mind you, this is the first time in her life she has ever had to vomit) and i get her all cleaned up, she looks at me with big 'ole tears in her eyes and says "mommy, that hurt my tummy, and my throat.... and it was really really icky. Why did that happen?" Next thing I know, we are sitting on the bathroom floor for 30-45 minutes... having a discussion all about why we vomit, and if it will ever happen again. I know this is kind of a disgusting subject. But I thought it was kind of interesting that she wanted to know exactly why all this happened to her. and i thought it was kind of cute.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 22 replies

words from the cutie pie

dread_pirate_rackham — Wed, 21 Dec 2005 19:20:11 GMT

my little blue-eyed monster this morning zipped my pocket closed whilst I was bent over her trying to buckle her sister into her car seat. I know she can't help it, zippers are an open temptation for a 3.5 yr old.

And I said, "hey, you scared me!" because it did genuinely startle me. The sound of zipper is sometimes accompanied by pinched skin, so I guess I'm a little gunshy. "Give me a little warning next time, OK?"

And she makes swirling/zipping motions with her hands and says "I'm gonna zip you all up like a pirate."

Where she got that, I have no idea, but I fell in love with her all over again at that moment.

I said, "I like the way you think."

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 7 replies

3 kids 2 adults...ALLLL sick

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 19:47:00 GMT

This is awful. We are all sick with something.
My youngest 2 have a NASTY cough and runny nose, my eldest is getting over the cold, as is my husband. And, I woke up in the middle of the night with another round of the vomit, fever, aching flu.
IS IT ALMOST OVER?!?!?!?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 7 replies

Hi there!!

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 01:43:23 GMT

This tribe really caught my attention. I have 3 children ... going thru all different stages in life, A daughter who is 17, son who is 14 and another son who is 10. They keep me living and smiling. I cant imagine a day without them in my life. Sometimes it is tough... but the nights I get to tuck them into bed and know that they are safe and sound... I thank god that he has put them in my life.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 15 replies

I had an accident.

Thu, 15 Dec 2005 18:38:25 GMT

my 3 year old is having accidents at day care. 3 in 2 weeks. 2 this week. is something happening or is this common. he cant find the words to talk about it. it is clear it upsets him. i dont want him back in pullups but hey, if it gets him to the bathroom sooner, then good. any advice please.
oh, we are taking him to the doctor tomorrow, the day care says he may have a bladder/urinary infection which is why he doesn't know he is wetting his pants.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 22 replies

Anyone car to help?

justme — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 22:07:35 GMT

I need some backup, please?

http://tribes.tribe.net/32fcbd31-63eb-4ed8-befd-0f7a298c5cfa/thread/a0eba3d8-a612-4c9b-8949-42ceef610991

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 16 replies

gotta love the little things.

Thu, 15 Dec 2005 17:10:47 GMT

my son just pooped in the fresh hot tubwater.
He knows better and, all he can do is giggle and say, "mommy, poop swimmin"
I guess this is one of those times that I would like to get mad but, instead, I tell him no, and plug my nose as I go in for the scouring of the tub.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 1 reply

kiddie holiday cards

QQ — Tue, 13 Dec 2005 21:03:06 GMT

ok, camera on the fritz so i'm digging through old pics to print as cards. whaddaya think...

http://images.tribe.net/tribe/upload/photo/8e8/6a7/8e86a72f-501e-403d-af37-9b34db0237a2

or

http://images.tribe.net/tribe/upload/photo/a17/012/a1701283-c7e1-4886-880e-4a2800f156dd

?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 7 replies

slippery dick

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 19:23:05 GMT

"papa papa, what's a slippery dick"?

WHAT THE F&^%$$*?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 30 replies

I think you misunderstood me

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 18:02:08 GMT

I didn't mean a look like rolling the eyes or attitude..I meant the look where I realized her face is changing..no longer the chubby cheeks or the pudgy fingers but, a look of a girl...sweet, caring and innocent.
Not bitchy...although, she has her moments.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 3 replies

today was the day....

Mon, 12 Dec 2005 20:18:02 GMT

My daughter, Shelby, now 18 months old gave me the look today.
it was the look where I saw her as a new child. She is no longer my baby. She is becoming a kid.
Opinions, laughter, sense of humor, drama, "world coming to an end at her feet" looks on her face...everything.
My baby is becoming a big girl.
Does anyone else know what I am talking about?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 13 replies

Parenthood Newbies

strngvoice — Sat, 03 Dec 2005 07:49:22 GMT

We have a couple of new members that I know of, one who is pregnant and one who is trying to get pregnant. (Welcome!) and it made me think about this question.

What misconceptions did you have about pregnancy and parenthood before you got pregnant and became a parent?

I had no idea that being pregnant would make me feel wretchedly sick for 5 months and make me pee when I laughed or sneezed(o: why don't they tell you that?!? My nipples tried to get off my body and my feet grew!

As for being a parent, it never occured to me how much harder it would be to go anywhere or do adult things. We used to always be on the go and now we hardly get out of the house. I never realized how much pee and poop there would be or how many places I would have to clean it from. I didn't believe people when they tried to tell me that those small people could make such a hugh mess or such loud sustained noises. What is that siren noise thing they do anyway?!? Has anyone else noticed that their own children's screams/crying is the perfect pitch to make your head explode? I never realized how much my otherwise very helpful wonderful husband was going to be expecting me to do without his help(I got that straighted out though!) On the up side I never realized what a great excuse being a mom was for dressing like a slob, all the other moms know you how impossible it is to get out of the house without spitup on you. It's very freeing. It's also amazing the wonderful lesson those little people teach you about how impossible it is to control your life or your envronment. They really do teach us the most I think. I never conceived of just how much I could love them or how much they would become so much of my life.

I also never expected that one of my precious children would pee on the other on purpose but I think that is for another thread(o:

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 22 replies

Children's Inability To See ?

Sat, 10 Dec 2005 16:22:40 GMT

Last night I was giving my baby (2 yo) a bath. He was noodling around in the tub and I was sitting next to it flipping through the latest issue of Allure Magazine. This month features a picture of Teri Hatcher on the cover.
Small stopped his play, pointed to the cover photo, and said "dares da mama."

Love is blind.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 9 replies

Kids and cell phones

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 21:50:46 GMT

I got my son (he's 11) a cell phone this year mostly so I can call him if I'm going to be late picking him up, or to check in when he's at his dad's and to allow him a little more freedom around the neighborhood knowing we can be in contact.

Well, I opened the bill today and it was $226!!! Unbeknown to me he's been downloading games at his dad's house. $45 in internet charges and $100 in game fees.

I keep seeing those cell phone adds where the teens and college kids are racking up the bills for their parents and I thought I had a few years to go before I had to worry about that and to train him on proper phone usage.

Damn, I didn't even know he could purchase games for his phone and I feel he probably didn't know he was being charged so I'm not sure what kind of punishment is warranted. We'll be having a long talk tonight when I get home though.

Aaaarrrrgggghhhhh

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 16 replies

not allowed!!!

Mon, 05 Dec 2005 19:16:21 GMT

hey, I was curious if anyone else has things that they absolutely refuse to allow their children to watch/play with, that other people may not see a problem with....
for example.... i wont let my three year old watch barney, just for the simple fact that its really annoying... and i know she would get hooked. i figure that all teh stuff that the stupid purple dinosaur taught, is taught on sesame street, and at home, and on a billion other shows and whatnot.

of course, this is all besides the obvious ones like knives, guns,... stuff like that.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 18 replies

Action point part 2

Mon, 05 Dec 2005 17:19:50 GMT

I was listening to the radio this morning...(sarah and noname for those in the bay area) and she was saying that she threatens the police all the time.
I don't really agree with that method. To me...again, the police should be respected..not feared. Does anyone else have an opinion on this?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 9 replies

Action Point

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 18:53:08 GMT

What is your action point with your kids ? How many times do you have to ask them to do something before they take you seriously ? What makes them do so ? Is it counting, tone of voice, threats of punishment, etc ?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 35 replies

TRY AND TELL ME NO..A-HOLE!

Mon, 05 Dec 2005 21:17:56 GMT

ok...

AAARGH!

We have had workmen at our house for 2 weeks. We are getting aluminum siding on our house. My kids naps haven't been synchronized in that time...I finally got them to sleep AT THE SAME TIME..IN THE SAME ROOM! for the first time ever. (we are trying to move Shelby out of our room and into Ethans..not the point..back to story) IThese workmen came back from lunch and started working ON THE WINDOW of their room. We have a BIG HOUSE..there are other places to work...I asked them VERY VERY F-ING NICELY to move to another part of the house for a little while so the babies can finish sleeping..PARENTS..you know that no nap is better than a partial..what kid wakes up happy when they aren't ready to get up?
THESE BIG RUSSIAN WORKMEN SAID NO!
WTF?!?!?!?!?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 5 replies

Madagascar Penguins

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 03:44:23 GMT

Has anyone else seen the holiday special with these penguins from the original movie ?

It is hysterical. We've been calling the new puppy "Mr. Chew". My son can do the accent and all.

Today I asked "large" if he was ready to go slot car racing and he said...."Yes Rico....kaBOOM". I nearly pee'd my pants.

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 12 replies

Holiday Traditions ?

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 14:41:58 GMT

Yours from when you were young ? Ones that you started or are thinking of beginning ?

Fun projects/crafts/trips/events that make the holidays special for you and your family....please share !

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 20 replies

lost & found

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 17:55:38 GMT

actually just found. things that have appeared under my 5 year old's pillow at different times:

legos
stickers (new)
stickers (used)
fruit seeds
cockroach (dead)
dry leaves
sticks
toy car
small stuffed animals
spider (alive)
flowers
assorted writings
assorted drawings
socks (used)
tissues (unused)
tissues (used)
harmonica
pencil
small flashlight
paper airplane

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 7 replies

That's my baby!

TheMelissa — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 06:17:32 GMT

I checked on her in the tub, and she was singing "Up on the Housetop" with bubbles on her chin, and I ran to get the camera and the santa hat....

Bubbles are fun! I confess I had a Santa beard as well before the night was done...

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 2 replies

It's the same fucking Wiggles song over and over again... make it stop!

huck — Sat, 19 Nov 2005 06:25:33 GMT

how can i get rid of this song that won't leave me alone?

Shit

There it is again.

Its knocking on the door.

Should I pretend like no one is home or shoot through the door?

posted in Parenthood with a sense of humor - 16 replies